Brenda Lyle – Florida Today
Q: Why is being a good mom (and a good daughter) so exhausting?
A: Women in the “sandwich generation”—those caring for both aging parents and minor children—face significant mental health challenges. Trying to meet the demands of being both a “good” daughter and mother, combined with work and personal obligations, can lead to anxiety, depression, burnout, and some major guilt. According to the American Geriatrics Society, 2.5 million women in the U.S. are sandwich generation caregivers.
Physical and Mental Challenges
Most women in the sandwich generation are in their 40s and 50s, the typical age for perimenopause and menopause. The decline in estrogen levels during this time can cause mood swings, irritability, anxiety, and heightened emotional sensitivity– making it even harder to manage stress. The result? Well being may be significantly affected by the physical, emotional, and psychological stressors from both caregiving and menopausal symptoms.
Common Menopausal Challenges That Exacerbate Caregiving Stress:
- Sleep Disruptions – Hot flashes, night sweats, and insomnia can lead to chronic sleep deprivation, further impairing cognitive function.
- Memory & Concentration Issues – Many experience brain fog, forgetfulness, and difficulty focusing, making it harder to juggle caregiving and work.
- Increased Anxiety & Depression – Some women experience panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, or overwhelming worry.
- Physical Fatigue & Discomfort – Joint pain, headaches, and low energy make the physical demands of caregiving more difficult.
- Marital/Partner Relations — Couples may experience intimacy issues with menopause, adding to emotional stressors.
Getting Help
Therapy can provide professional coping strategies. But don’t underestimate the power of connecting with other sandwich moms who are sharing your journey. Support groups and online forums can offer practical advice and validation, and even a cup of coffee with an understanding friend can provide a needed release.
Prioritize Physical and Mental Self-Care
Regular exercise, a balanced diet, quality sleep and relaxation techniques (like yoga and meditation) can help manage stress. CafeMom.com’s Sandwich Generation Survival Guide suggests, “Schedule your self-care like you would any other important appointment. Put it in your calendar and treat it as non-negotiable. Even 15 minutes a day can make a difference.” Additionally, increase calcium and vitamin D to support bone health and reduce caffeine and alcohol to manage hot flashes and mood swings. Talk candidly to your doctor about your situation.
Don’t be afraid to tap family members for help! Acknowledging that you are not Wonder Woman will ease stress and help free you from (your own?) demands of perfection.
Responsibilities can weigh heavily on women sandwiched between two needy generations. Enjoy a Friday break during Women’s Day in two Central Florida locations, beginning with Altamonte Springs on April 11 and Viera on April 25. RSVP for the fun planned at www.OneSeniorPlace.com.
AARP Tax-Aide professionals are at Central Florida One Senior Place locations this tax season, providing free tax preparation and filing! For scheduling information, call One Senior Place at 321-751-6771 in Viera or 407-949-6733 in Altamonte Springs or visit www.OneSeniorPlace.com.
Brenda Lyle is a Certified Care Manager and Certified Dementia Practitioner with One Senior Place, Greater Orlando. One Senior Place is a marketplace for resources and provider of information, advice, care and on-site services for seniors and their families. Submit your questions to AskOSP@OneSeniorPlace.com. For immediate help, call 321-751-6771 or visit One Senior Place, The Experts in Aging.
